


A Break from the Norm

by themisguidedgh0st



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Carmilla's Second POV, Clouds of fluff, Complete, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff World, Minor LaFontaine/Lola Perry, Minor Wilson Kirsch/Danny Lawrence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 04:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5991979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themisguidedgh0st/pseuds/themisguidedgh0st
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You looked at her more closely and your eyebrows shot up to your hairline.<br/>She's hanging on the bus bar. She can't reach it. So she's hanging on the bar.<br/>This is going to be interesting. </p><p>I pity the poor person that she's going to fall on and break.</p><p>But you think those three old lady fates have a funny way of weaving because the person that she falls on is you.<br/>*****************************************************</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Break from the Norm

A Break From the Norm:

 

**_Semester 2: 1/19/2016_ **

_A random variable is a function that goes from a set to a real number denoted as R. We can use a set in Real Numbers to go back to the Probability using an Inverse function {X -1A} assuming of course that A is a set in the sample space._

_Say what?_

_En Anglais s'il vous plait._

_What even is probability theory?_ The broody, raven-haired girl slammed her textbook shut, growling as she did so.

_Carmilla. Calm yourself. All this is saying is that a random variable is first and foremost a function._

Yes. Now that, you understood. Opening your text again to the page discussing the random variables, you picked up your pen and began to take some notes. However before the droplet of ink could even reach the paper, the door to her small dorm boomed open.

The loud, insufferably cheery voice of Wilson Kirsch filled the room as he came in, grabbed a beer, _your beer,_ and rattled off in his loud, cheery voice about the latest girl he liked.

"Oh man K, she was so angry at me. But she was so hot too. Like angry and hottie. She was an angry-hottie! Oh oh and K, man you need to come to the Official Silas University Start of Semester Zeta party tonight. A ton of girls are gonna show up and some of them are actually hot so Oh and K you totally need to meet Will because he's my best bro and then there's Theo but always acts a little weird and likes to show off and-"

_Enough._

Kirsch stops mid-sentence, looking at you, beer forgotten in his hand. You're just about seething. Kirsch nervously takes a sip of his beer. You growls "At what point in the _last century_ did people give up on _knocking,_ Kirsch? Common Decency for the only one of us out of two that's going to end up with a job after college would be nice."

Kirsch sighed. You growled again, baring her teeth before speaking "And that beer " you say, snatching the can out of his hand "is _mine_ ".

Kirsch grins, knowing how much he pisses you off. "But you didn't say no. Come on. Theoretical probability and Abstract Algebra will still remain when the Zeta bash is over. Besides, the ladies only really come for you anyway, K."

You look back at your latest notes on the Poisson Random Distribution and how much it simply makes your head spin.

You look back at the puppy currently lounging on the only chair in your dorm room. You look back at your text.

_Girls are so much more fun anyways. Especially after hours._

You go to the stupid Zeta party. Kirsch is right after-all. The girls generally gravitate towards your boobs, your hair and the talent of your fingers, lips and of course, tongue.

"Double majoring like that must be _so_ hard. Math and Philosophy. _So smart, Carmilla_ "

"Thanks, _sexy_ "

"Maybe you could _tutor me...after class_ "

" _Oh you can count on it...Elsie was it?_ "

Well. That was how it always started. The rest was entertainment. These kinds of breaks were generally welcome and generally quite often.

**_One Week Later: 1/26/2016_ **

This time, Carmilla was in the middle of solving an intense Poisson Distribution problem when the big puppy Kirsch barged in uninvited. Except now he had two ginger puppies in tow. "Susan, wha-"

"LaFontaine, Perr"

"...Sorry, LaFontaine, what if you took a break from your science experiments and just relax for a bit. I'm sure you'll be more alive when you've had rest"

"Perr, med school doesn't come from sleeping and doing nothing. Science! I'll take a couple samples, do some tiny molecular experiments and I'll stay in practice. No harm, no foul Perr."

"K! The bash was so cool last night, you should have been there". That was Wilson grinning at you from behind his beer.

You, on the other hand stood mouth agape staring at the trio before you. "Is my dorm the Hufflepuff Common Room? I'm trying to _work. Kirsch, LaFontaine, Perry. Out now_ ". You're growling.

Kirsch throws his head back and laughs. Laf grins a little and Perry purses her lips before dusting off the chair she's sitting on with the cuff of her sleeve.

Laf makes they're way over to you and claps you on the back "No worries, Vamp, just checking to see how that Poison graph is going"

" _Poisson Distribution. Poisson._ Like fish in French. You'd know that if you had an ounce of anything else in your brain besides vials and test tubes. Oh wait. you don't."

Laf's grin only widens as they grab the beer out of Kirsch's hand and takes a sip for themselves and wink.

Then again, looking back at your notes, the Poisson Distribution was a kind of poison.

You scowl at all three of the stupid friends you have, stalk over to your mini fridge, and snatch a beer with surprising speed.

Plopping down next to Kirsch, you ready yourself with your best snarks and insults. It's been a while since you've had fun.

You have no idea what's wrong with you. You know that there is something missing. You just don't know what it is. When you were 10, your father divorced your controlling mother and left you to deal with her martinet behavior. Mattie always followed her like a lost gazelle, but when she had the chance, Mattie left to Morocco as soon as the opportunity presented itself. She never even looked back. While Maman was away in the States in New York, you were enjoying as much as you could in the Ice Blasted waste land that was Styria, Austria. When you were 15, you realized you preferred the fairer sex, and with the fairer sex came a girl, a blonde girl that made your heart skip a beat, whose voice had you smiling for the whole day. Ell was your first everything. She was your first friend since your parents' divorce. She was your first kiss and your first love. But she was also your first heartbreak because you found her lips on another's lips.

 _The Betrayal._ Your skin had felt like it was peeling off. The blood in your veins had not run cold, but they ran fiery hot. Your eyes seemed to not function because even though you turned your head, your eyes were somehow glued to the scene before you.

 _Ell._ She didn't even notice your presence. So you turned. And you left.

And suddenly differential equations became so much more interesting. Math didn't fail you if things went south. Math was safe and you needed safe. Mattie had offered to sue everything Ell had ever owned and ever will own. But it didn't matter. You didn't care after two weeks.

You cared about vector spaces and Stokes' theorem. You cared about Topology and Real Analysis. You cared about Philosophy because the amount of time you simply spend reflecting on life is unimaginable.

You've gotten over Ell. No doubt about it. And you decided to pour yourself into your studies. You wanted to be smart. Is that so difficult to believe?

You have a sort of reputation at the Zeta Parties.

_Carmilla. She's so hot._

_I heard she, like, does girls and then just goes straight back to work._

_But she's so hot. It doesn't even matter._

Ew. It doesn't matter, you tell yourself. Everything's okay. At the end of the day, Math will always be there. The Poisson distribution will never leave you.

**_1/28/2016_ **

The Wintery cold was usually your favorite part of the year. The way the wind rushed around hugging every single body in sight no matter how many layers of clothing they wore, made you feel exceptionally normal. You were just as cold as everyone else, in your leather jacket...and your leather pants...with your black heels. However, when you had to get on the bus to go to a different campus for your Intro to Philosophy course, and the wind was so strong it was preventing you from moving forward, the wintery cold of Styria was not welcome.

Pushing forward through the wind seemed to be akin to rock climbing. In heels. With a scarf flinging wildly about. Walking a hundred feet to the bus stop shouldn't take so much effort, but with much scowling, glaring at the sky, and stomping around, you manage to climb on the bus and find an open seat.

Taking out your Philosophy text, you start reading the current chapter. Before long, the bus is packed like sardines and you can see each individual pore on the person sitting next to you.

However, the person hanging on to the bus bar for dear life right in front of you was the one that interested you the most. She was wrapped up till her eyes in coats and scarves. _Was she wearing one coat on top of the other?_

You couldn't help but smirk a little. Her eyes wild and she, seemingly petrified of falling, grabbed as tightly as she could to the bar.

You looked at her more closely and your eyebrows shot up to your hairline.

_She's hanging on the bus bar. She can't reach it. So she's hanging on the bar. This is going to be interesting. I pity the poor person that she's going to fall on and break._

But you think those three old lady fates have a funny way of weaving because the person that she falls on is you.

The bus jerks wildly. Her eyes shut tight. The weight of her backpack and her double coat pushes her forward, _straight into your lap._

_Great. There is a pink, huge lump of human girl straddling me on a bus filled with other humans._

The coat's smothering you to the point that you have to stretch your neck way out into someone else's personal space in order to breath.

The other _imbecilic_ people on the bus found that the lump of double coat girl had made room, so they happily filled in the girl's old space.

"Oh my god, Oh my gosh I'm so sorry" _Was that the girl's voice?_

Yes. It was. She was apologizing. You groaned audibly. What did you do to deserve to be at the mercy of this girl?

"I'm so sorry. It's just that I was trying to reach the bar, but I'm so short so I had to jump to reach it but then I was afraid I was going to fall, but then I fell, and I fell on you and everything is so heavy, and _oh no_ I'm sitting on you, but wait there are people behind me and I can't get up and I'm _so sor-_ "

"Shut up. Please. Just. Stop. Talking. Don't move. Just stay and don't say anything. My stop is after this."

"Shut up? I was trying to apologize. You don't tell someone to shut up when they're apologizing"

Was this pink double coat girl serious? "Because apologies are so helpful. I accidently ran someone over. Oops. Sorry, I didn't mean to"

The girl openly glared right at you. Her mocha-hazel mixed eyes wavered with anger.

You inwardly smirked.

"And whose bright idea was it to wear two coats? You can't even move, and you’re suffocating me as well"

The glare hardened. Then she looked away and grumbled something about "bear kit" and "dad" and "protective".

For a second, you wondered who this girl was. But the bus rolled to a stop. This was your stop. The girl managed to push herself off of you and you bolted for your class, not thinking once about the double coat girl.

 **Semester 3** :

**9/6/2016**

You’re bent on declaring your double major in Math and Philosophy in the next month or so. Looking back on it, the Poisson distribution has become your best friend. So has the proof of Bayes' Theorem and Markov Chains.

You decide that there's nothing in the world like Math. You wish math were a person. You'd fall in love and never wonder if they were cheating.

But you also had Kirsch. As much of a giant puppy he was, he cared about you and you knew that. On the outside, he was a Zeta fraternity nut, but on the inside, he was a pretty sweet, caring guy that worked hard. He was reliable and he was one of your only friends.

The other Ginger puppies only ever had eyes for each other. Perry took LaFontaine's gender fluidity in stride and it only made their relationship stronger.

You don't say it much, _hell you don't say it ever,_ but you appreciate these three people a lot.

Something happened to you as you went from doe eyed freshman meat your first and second semester to a college veteran.

You were _known_ around campus. Guys would walk up to you, grin and wink. Girls would constantly surround you, trying to have their way with you.

It was gross. You didn't _want_ any of them. You wanted sex. Hell yes. But not like this. How did _this even happen?_ The Zeta parties, you guessed.

You ended up going to every single one, getting one or sometimes two girls to come to your dorm with you. You guess they talk. About you.

_Ew. Time to back off a bit. You're not a slut. You just want release._

And weren't some of these girls in a relationship? No. You don't do drama.

**_Five weeks Later: 10/11/2016_ **

Proving theorems has become your past time, but when studying for Midterms, proofs aren't important. Practice is. But you can't help trying to prove a few from your old Calc 3 class as a break.

It's a welcome break because you spent the last three hours practicing basic Reduced Row Echelon Forms for basic Linear Algebra midterm.

Yawning and stretching backwards like a cat, you crack your neck a few times and groan.

_Okay. Back to Block Multiplication of Matrices. Easy Theory. Annoying Practice._

A loud thump interrupted your thoughts. Too surprised that anyone would be sitting next to you, you look up.

_Cute Girl. Brown locks. Cute nose. I love button noses._

_Wait._

_Those eyes._

_THOSE EYES._

_Double Coat Girl._

You smirk openly. She appears again. "So this time you decided to wear only two layers, coat girl"

Your voice came out husky. She looked at you in confusion and shock.

Then her eyes widened in recognition. "You! You...rude raging bad person! I was trying to apologize and you shut me off! I don't want to sit next to you! Why would anyone?"

Your eyebrows shot up to your hairline.

She huffed and picked up her books and looked to the left. The library you were in was so full, people were sitting on the ground. She looked to the right and found the same result.

She growled before setting her books pointedly back on the table. "Well, I'm never sitting with you again. You're not worth talking to."

You smirked. It's not like you haven't heard that before.

The two of you manage to work in silence before you hear murmuring.

You look up from your block multiplication practice at the girl in front you.

"Arguments are made up of statements. These statements are claim, premises, assumptions and conclusions.

"Assumptions are often unstated premises or implicit premises.

"The argument can be valid if and only if... _Dammit. How is an argument valid or invalid? And what is a sound argument?_ "

You know the answer. Of course you do. That's how philosophy arguments work. You debate on whether or not to answer her, just to get the upper hand. This cupcake of a human girl is clearly a bit dull.

Going back to your block multiplication, you answer her question in monotone "Validity is based on the logical flow of the premises to the conclusion. If it flows logically and the assumption is reasonable, then the argument is valid. Soundness of an argument has to do with the truth of the premises. If the premises are true, the conclusion is true, and therefore the argument is sound. A sound argument is always valid but a valid argument is not always sound."

You finish off your sum and start the next one.

The silence is deafening between you two. You look up at her. She's staring at you in shock.

"Thanks...I do-"

"Carmilla" you supply for her.

"Mine is Laura,” she says softly. You think creampuff suits her just fine.

"Are you pre-law as well?" she asks, unaware, clearly that you're doing _math_ right in front of her. You wonder how she's pre-law when she doesn't know the structure of a simple formal argument.

You shake your head "Math and Philosophy double major."

She nods, bites her lip and head turns back to her text.

_She's kind of cute when she bites her lip though._

_Shut up, brain._

A couple tables are empty now. She looks up at them. She looks at you, then. You don't return the stare, but she doesn't get up and leave.

You don't think you'll ever see this strange girl again when you leave the library.

You were so wrong. So very wrong.

**_3 weeks later: 11/1/2016_ **

The Silas Library was strange. Shelves disappeared and the people along with them. Sometimes they just folded out of existence. It was like a giant, live Escher Painting. The thought of some of the students of this university just disappearing into thin air excited you.

But during Exams and the general middle of the semester, the library was usually filled with students attempting to soak whatever information their professors provide them with.

This time, you've brought your friend Kant with you to relax before attacking your homework for your Linear Algebra class. Immanuel Kant. He really was one of the most modern philosophers of his time and the fact that he was an early prominent atheist just made him that much more intere-

_THUMP_

You look up from _The Critique of Pure Reason_ and your eyes caught a familiar flash of double coat, trying and laughably failing to get up from off the floor.

"Again? With two coats? You look like a strudel commercial, cupcake."

The creampuff looked around wildly until she caught your eyes and growled. Then she twisted and turned wildly until the backpack came off her back and thudded again on the floor.

The ever-attentive Librarian snorted awake and gave everyone a "Shh" before returning to her post and napping.

You smirk noticeably. She still has two coats on.

"You need any help, there cupcake? You look a little flushed from all those hours of trying to get up from the floor,” you drawl out.

The cupcake ( _was it Laura?_ ) merely twisted around in pure frustration.

You move your feet in the direction of the creampuff but wait.

_Were you about to help her? Why? This is her problem._

Before you could even answer your own brain, the creampuff stood before you, growling, with two jackets in one arm and her sack on the other arm.

You blink at her for a second and return to your seat.

She turns and leaves and you register the fact that in the short time that she was flailing around, the other tables got filled and you ignore the slight flutter in your stomach when your brain figures out that she'll be back at your table soon.

Your brain is correct.

She's back.

Growling and angry and a bit red in the face, but she's back.

You don't say word. You haven't moved a line from when she sat down. You've been attempting to read the same line of German Kant since the creampuff started editing her paper in front of you.

You were listening to her read her paper out loud and till now you've noticed 5 mistakes that she did not. One of them was in her thesis. Well, not her thesis, per say. Just how she was defending her thesis.

It was killing you to hear her mess this up right in front of you. _This is entirely her fault. Pre-Law should be able to construct a working argument. Obviously._

You ignore yourself, because it isn't her fault that her teacher is incapable. Laura seems to be working hard to get this right.

"Hey. Creampuff. When you're arguing that the 18th amendment needed to be passed, you can't give just one reason. I mean in theory, of course you can. But in general a strong premise requires at least two."

You see the look of distrust on her face. She bites her lip and _that's so cute._ "But the professor said that if we had a really strong reason, we'd win"

You're taken aback at how naive she is. "Creampuff-"

"Laura"

"Who? Never mind. Look. You're pre-law. You want to win these arguments. Well. Okay. Let's have an argument. I think that I can drive to Philadelphia in five minutes. Convince me in only 1 reason that I can't do it"

"Isn't Philadelphia in America?" she questions?

You say nothing.

She bites the corner of the end of her pen. "Uhh, it's too far? You have a car and you'd have to cross the ocean and it even takes planes more than 6 hours just to get to-"

"What part of one reason didn't you hear, cutie?"

She makes an _Oh_ sound, so loudly that the librarian snorts awake again.

She grins at you, scrunching up her nose in the process.

You give her a small upturn of your lips.

A couple hours later, you find yourself editing Laura's paper yourself and explaining why you think each part you marked is incorrect in your paper.

You ignore the immense look of gratitude on her face, because _why does it matter if you're never going to see her again, anyways?_

Kant is long forgotten next to your Linear Algebra text.

At the end of the semester, you see an article on JSTOR, written by a Laura Hollis.

_Wait what?_

_Published?_

_On the merits of the 18 th amendment?_

_But two months ago, she couldn't even spell her own name right?_

Something in your chest swells a little because she took your advice into account and she improved on her own.

You haven't seen her since that day in the library.

**_Semester 4: 1/16/2017_ **

For some reason, you Kirsch, LaF and Perry are stupid enough to enjoy the winter chill. Well, there are others out here, but mostly it's just you four goofing off, enjoying yourselves. Kirsch is trying to see how many hot dogs he can stuff in his mouth without dying and LaF is timing it.

For science, _of course._

Perry keeps scolding LaF for doing these silly experiments and allowing Kirsch to potentially hurt himself.

You grin at the scene and sip your black coffee.

It warms you, the coffee.

_Your friends warm you too, Carmilla._

Suddenly, a tall ginger human is blocking your view of the incredibly scientific experiment that's occurring in front of you.

"Kirsch that's so lame. I can eat twice what you can eat in half the time"

"Oh YEAH Summer Psycho? Be. My. Guest." Kirsch lifts himself out of the chair, giving Danny the seat. You don't notice the person behind her.

While Danny's stuffing her face with meat, Kirsch comes and sits next to you.

"K! Zeta party tonight? Come on, it's been months since you've been to one. And besides, I haven't heard any girls leave satisfied at 3 in the morning to go since your 3rd semester here."

You roll your eyes. Ew "No, Kirsch. I developed a reputation as gross as that sounds."

Kirsch blinks and grins slyly "But Elsie's gonna be there and you know you liked that lay."

You let out a shit-eating grin. Elsie was _fun._ And she reciprocated which most other girls weren't interested in.

Then again pillow princesses never were and they usually were princesses.

"Ew. How can you talk about sex like that? Like it's fun to use people and throw them away? That's so disgusting as a human."

You whip your head to the side, glaring. Who the hell had the right to _say_ that to you?

The creampuff. Her mocha-hazel eyes struck you once again. They were large and fiery, like the creampuff’s temper.

"Sure, creampuff. You know all about right and wrong, don't you?"

"Carmilla back off". The tall ginger looked up at you.

"Summer Psycho, let the little hottie fight her own fights. You're not her dad" That was Kirsch.

Laura looked at you right in the eye "Why shouldn't I know about right and wrong? I don't attend a party just to sleep with a girl. Imagine how many diseases must be going around because you can't keep it in your pants"

You glare at her and stand up to your full height. Just over an inch taller than her "What do my morals have to do with where my vagina wants to be?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE USING THE GIRLS FOR SEX. WHAT IF THEY HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU? YOU JUST SAY NO BABE SORRY NO CAN DO I'M TOO DISSAFFECTED AND COOL FOR THAT"

She blows up in your face, brown locks swirling in the wind and her face, scarlet red.

You return the scream with a sarcastic line that blows her up further "This coming from a girl who turned her paper into a peer-reviewed article without consulting her professor or even consulting the person who helped her _write the damn paper in the first place._ "

Laura looks at you shocked. You raise an eyebrow.

The shock helps you to continue.

“You’re just a child. You know nothing about what it takes to be in a world where-”

_No. Not like this, Carmilla. She’s not worth it._

“Never mind. Go back and cry to mommy. Be a child. Don’t grow up in the real world. What, did you have to go crying back to mommy when the prof didn't want to help at first?"

The slap was so hard across your face; you know you'll have a welt in the shape of the creampuff's hand.

"You bi-"

Lafontaine interjected here "Hey guys maybe you wanna sto-"

Laura ignores Lafontaine completely "My mother has nothing to do with the diseases that are probably spread around by you. Besides. There are people who can care for those girls instead of having them hope that they can rely on you. Those girls deserve so much better than a lousy sarcastic arrogant...raging b-bad person like you. Hell, even you deserve better"

_Wait what?_

You stop for a second shocked before screaming "YOU HAVE NO RI--"

This time Lafontaine stops you "ENOUGH ALREADY"

You scream, livid "FINE"

"FINE" Laura stomps away. The tall ginger, Danny, you remembered her name, scampered away after her.

Kirsch stares longingly at the plate "Summer Psycho finished all the food. In half the time I tried to finish".

You glare at your coffee. It's cold. You chuck the coffee in the nearest trash can, pick up your Kant book and head off to a tree to sit under and absorb the cold for a while.

You don't see Laura again for the rest of the semester. Or the next.

**_Semester 6: 2/17/2018_ **

"Hey you lousy big puppy. Stop moping around. What happened? You've been like this for weeks" you circle around Kirsch before plopping on the floor next to him.

He looks up at you, nods "Hey K" before looking back at the ground again. "Danny has a girlfriend".

You twist your mind around to capture this new information. "You mean Agent Orange?" Your dislike for Danny had always been obvious in your group of friends.

You two just never got along.

Kirsch nods his head dully "Yeah, she's dating Hollis."

_Hollis. The name's really familiar. Like...Laura..._

You choke on that realization before confirming "As in Laura Hollis? The creampuff?"

Kirsch nods dully again.

You look at the ground in anger.

_Why do you even care what she does in life?_

For the first time in years, you agree with your brain.

You sigh. Kirsch points behind you. You twist your neck backwards to see two people lounging around on a tree nearby you and Kirsch.

You recognize the cupcake instantly.

You also recognize how _happy_ she looks. But you think that she could be happier.

_With You?_

You almost puke at your own brain’s suggestion.

And yet, you shift your position next to Kirsch so that you can watch them longer.

From the bits and pieces of obvious puppy love, and the new couple-in-love fire and enjoyment, you see how _protective_ Danny is of Laura

"Laura, don't go too far. There are ticks"

"Laura be careful, the grass can hurt your bare feet"

"Laura you can't climb that branch, it's too dangerous"

You turn to see Kirsch staring at Danny. He looks away, sad again. You remember Kirsch telling you for the first time, that he had a crush on Danny and that some day he was going to ask her out.

You did think that Kirsch and Xena would make a cute couple. After all, everyone, including themselves, enjoyed their competitions.

But if Danny and Laura were in love together, you and Kirsch had no say.

You wrap your arm around his shoulder and lead him away from the tree, trying to distract him by talking about Zeta parties and how much beer Theo can drink before passing out.

It distracts him. For a while, anyway.

Room 307:

Intro to Geology. You feel sort of silly as a second semester Junior taking an Intro Course but you had to fill in your last Science credit requirement somehow.

When you get into the class, there's a two-seat desk available near the back, and you thank all the gods as you take the seat. You see the entire doe-eyed freshmen with their notebooks out and ready and you remember being 18 and waiting for your Math Theory of Probability class to start. Now you're taking Topology and you love advanced regression methods. But this is Geology. You put your hood up and nap before class starts and you have to wake up.

You faintly register a thud of someone sitting next to you, but you don't really pay attention until the teacher wakes you up by saying "Well, it'd be a good idea to get to know each other now, because the person sitting next to you will be your partner for the rest of this course"

You sit straight up automatically, and the hood falls off your head. There's an audible gasp to your right and you turn your head.

The Cupcake.

Of course.

There was no way you could escape her this semester.

She turns away and growls in her seat.

You sigh and slump against your desk. Every Tuesday and Thursday is a nightmare from now on.

Intro to Geology was such a _boring course_ that even your snores were bored.

You and the creampuff, however had managed to find some peace because you have never seen Laura fall asleep so quickly before.

_She's kind of cute when she wakes up when the class ends though._

The professor was so old.

"Of course, each Geological era lasts for thousands and thousands of..." she drones on.

You mutter "Are you sure you're not a couple geological eras old, prof?"

There's a snicker next to you. You turn your head in surprise because _when has Laura Hollis ever laughed at something you said? Ever?_

Your surprised face must have been too obvious because she pressed her lips together "It might have been funny, but you shouldn't scold the person giving you the grade".

You can't help it "You sure she's giving us the grade? I'd be surprised if she can grade anything, seeing as she probably started walking to her desk when dinosaurs were still roaming the earth and now it's 2018 and she's still only half way across."

This time the creampuff snorts her way into full-blown laughter and the entire class looks at her in confusion.

"Miss Hollis! I'm glad you find Sedimentary rock formation _so_ interesting."

Laura shuts up immediately and apologizes.

You really can't help but add under your breath "Mrs. Stein, how do you know so much about these sedimentary rocks. Were they originally your friends from your time period?"

Laura Hollis seemed to be grinning at you when you came out of the class.

You ignore the fact that she was waiting for you. You're so surprised that she's not mad at you for getting her kicked out of class that your quiet for the entire journey to the lunch table.

Yes.

You and Laura Hollis now sit at the same table.

A lot has changed albeit it having nothing to do with your apparent peace with the creampuff. Kirsch just wants to be close to Danny and Danny wants to sit next to her girlfriend and you want to sit with Kirsch, LaF and Perry. So you and Laura just manage to end up together twice a day on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

But there's something about Laura Hollis, you think as you pick up your textbook for Topology. There really is something special about her.

You watch the cupcake down an entire mug of Hot Chocolate and you watch her down 4 donuts.

Well maybe not something special about the way she consumes those sugary concoctions.

You have a feeling that you'll be seeing a lot more of Laura Hollis.

For once, you're not wrong.

**_Semester 7: 9/25/2018_ **

You groan as your phone buzzes. It's 9AM. It's too early for Laura to say she forgot something at your dorm.

You groan as you recognize the cupcake's number and you swipe to pick up the call "Hey Carm! I uh, left my umbrella...and it’s pouring outside. Please come and give it to me please!"

You groan and you're about to say no when Laura says "Carm, I know you hate any time before 5 pm, but it's really raining and I have to get from the Robespierre building on this campus to the Echelon one on a different campus and you know how Silas buses are."

You groan again before muttering something incoherent into the phone and slamming the phone down.

 _You know how Silas buses are._ You chuckle a little. That's because you met her on a Silas bus.

You think about how far you both have come and you start to remember the younger, more wide-eyed Laura Hollis, but before you could, your phone buzzes with the words "Please Hurry"

You do.

You don't want Laura to get soaked because she'll get sick. And you don't need a sick Hollis to worry about on top of your Graduation Thesis.

Later that day, when the dreary rain let up, you agree to meet Kirsch at your dorm to catch up. It's been a while since it was just you and he. He seems to be a little better about his Xena crush and he says he's over her, but you know Kirsch and you know he still likes her.

Kirsch is attempting to salvage his GPA with an easy Algebra 2 course. While he’s practicing and completing his homework, you stop working on your own Introduction to Real Analysis assignments. And for once you let yourself wonder how you ended up where you were.

You think back to the first time Laura Hollis referred to you as a friend. It was during that cursed Intro to Geology course that you both were taking. You both had a project to do on Sedimentary rocks. Laura was presenting and you were simply showcasing the rocks. At the time you were taken aback at how professional Laura seemed even when doing a Geology presentation.

It was like she was trying to win over the jury, if the jury were the professor and the students in front of her. The presentation was of course a success. Laura Hollis never put less than 110% in anything she did. You on the other hand usually put in less than 10% of effort in anything that wasn’t math.

But for Laura Hollis you matched her 110% through and through.

After the presentation, as you and Laura were walking the normal route to the lunch table your friends normally sat at, Laura commented “I’m so glad I could do that project with a friend because that has got to be the worst class I’ve ever taken at this school.”

You were so taken aback; you had just merely nodded to her statement. And just like that, you and Laura Hollis were now friends. From then on, you two only became closer. LaF and Perry were always around each other, and Danny was always competing in Silas Sports Competitions with Kirsch or doing a Summer Society workshop. That always left you and Laura to study together and talk together. It became a norm.

Shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you picked up your pen, ready to return to the Real Analysis at hand.

But Kirsch’s tone of voice stopped you “Hey, K?”

It was hoarse and serious. He had to clear his throat many times. “Uh, how uh, close are you and the little hottie?”

You shrug, taking a sip of your beer. “I mean, we’ve established a friendship, I guess”

Kirsch, frowned and put his pencil down.

“You sure you guys are just friends? I mean, she calls you for an umbrella. It’s pouring out. She could have called her roommate. She called you. She could have called D-Bear. But she called you instead. And you went without a complaint.”

You look at Kirsch, waiting for him to continue. “Carmilla, you wouldn’t have done that for anyone ever, before you met Laura.”

_He has a point._

“Kirsch, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Would I rather deal with a sick Hollis? Absolutely not” you respond, turning back to your work.

“K, I’m your best friend. You can tell me that you’re in love with her. It’s okay.”

You whip your head around so fast, you’re positive he has whiplash.

“In Love. With Laura Hollis. Boy, you are out of your mind. And quite frankly, Wilson, it’s none of your business. Go away and pine over Agent Orange somewhere.” you sting him.

Kirsch flinches but persists anyways “She calls you Carm and you let her. You help her on her papers. You help her in her math even though she doesn’t need it. You make excuses to go and pick her up from class.”

You’re about to interject with a well rounded “Fuck you, Wilson” when he says “Naw, don’t give me that bull about her not having to worry Danny when you’re perfectly capable of picking her up. Come on, Carmilla, you’ll feel better when you admit it.”

You stare at him. Kirsch has never been so serious in his life, you think.

And then you think about Ell. _Wait. Hold it right there. Ell betrayed you. Why would you ever consider Hollis? She’s messy, she’s dull with philosophy, and she hates math. You love math. Math will never betray you like Ell did. Laura, even if she would like you, she’d just betray you like Ell did._

Kirsch seems to read your facial expression and understand immediately. “Hollis isn’t Ell, K. She isn’t. Ell was weird from the start and she was known for sleeping around. Hollis is pure and you know it.”

_He’s right. Creampuff isn’t Ell._

_Maybe I do like her._

_A little. I’ll get over it. I definitely don’t love her, after all._

“Well, you big fucking pining puppy, maybe I do like her. A little. Enough to get over her. And I will get over her. I’m not in love. I just like.”

And you don’t love her.

You don’t love the way her eyes light up when you buy her a cookie and hot chocolate from Silas’ most popular bakery. You don’t love the way eyes dart across the page when reading case files. You don’t love the way she watches Dr. Who or even Buffy and she’s so focused on the screen and you definitely don’t love the way she laughs when you’re being sarcastic.

You are _so_ screwed.

Kirsch hums to himself for a second and you both return to your work.

Everything is back to the decided norm.

**_Two Weeks Later: 10/5/2018_ **

Laura Hollis and Danny broke up.

Laura Hollis is an incoherent mess on your bed. And you’re holding her to you, and she’s somehow wrapped her entire body around your torso.

“Creampuff...she’s just over protective...That’s not a crime, especially given how clumsy you are.” You say and you disagree with everything that came out of your mouth. But you cannot fathom that Laura broke up with Danny because she was over-protective. It just didn’t make sense. Laura put up with the protectiveness for a good eight months. Why would she suddenly be fed up now?

Laura mumbled a no within your torso and you smiled softly.

But as confusing as the reason for the breakup was, Laura was still a beautiful, incoherent mess on you, and you had to fix it. She was sad and you hate everything and everyone when Laura Hollis is sad.

So maybe a trip is in order.

“Hey creampuff. Why don’t you go visit your dad? You could do with some homemade goods. And a break from us.”

Her small muffled voice made you catch you breath “I don’t need a break from you, Carm.”

You didn’t speak for an entire 30 seconds, and the only movement was your hand softly stroking her brown locks. Laura moves until she is fully folded on your lap and her face is buried somewhere in your neck. “Come with me, Carm. My dad loves you. You guys argue about football all the time anyways and end up cheering and having fun.”

You correct her, smiling “Soccer, cutie. It’s soccer”

She rolls her red eyes “American-born”

Yours and Laura’s trip to visit Laura’s dad was the most fun you’ve had in a while. Some of the color came back to Laura’s face and she seemed to miss Xena less and less.

You’re with Kirsch, LaF, Perry, Danny and Laura as all of you try to make your way through another Zeta party. But Danny and Kirsch are having a “beer-pong” war and LaF and Perry are busy making out in a corner, so once again, you’ve been left with Laura Hollis, creampuff extraordinaire.

“Hey, cupcake. Wanna drink?” you ask, loudly since the shouts of the girls and guys and the music is enough to make a person deaf.

Laura nods. You make your way out of the crowd to the bar and order Laura’s favorite: Sex on the Beach.

While you’re about to pay the bartender, you feel a familiar hand on your arm.

“Carmilla, _babe_ ”

Elsie. You turn around and give her a slightly amused smirk. “Hey”

She raises her eyebrows “So are you up for something _fun_ tonight?” You don’t miss her intention in the word “fun”.

You shake your head, but she comes closer. “Really? Aw, that’s no fun, Carmilla. You should take a break from work. You look a little _tense_ ”

Her perfume was over whelming and all you could think of was that Laura’s perfume was intoxicating and welcome. Elsie’s was _not._

“I have to go. I’m no longer interested. Back off.”

With that, you march back to where you left Laura, only to find her gone.

“Hey Vamp! Laur said for you to not wait up. She felt ill so she went back to her dorm” LaF’s voice came through the deafening music. You slumped on the available bar stool and watched as LaF took Laura’s drink and downed in one go.

You took a sip of your own Scotch. This wasn’t fun anymore.

Damn you Hollis for taking the fun out of any other girl.

**_Semester 8: 5/20/2019_ **

**_“Congratulations, Class of 2019. We’re off to be the best and to do the best!”_ **

This was it. You held your bachelor’s degree in Mathematics and Philosophy in one hand and your graduation cap in the other.

Laura hugs you so hard, you feel like you’re melting into her.

When she lets you go, she’s grinning, and her cap is falling slightly into her eyes.

Suddenly, she looks past you and starts laughing.

Wondering what was so funny, you glance behind you to see an old Silas bus, rickety, driving off to another campus. You grin right back at Laura.

You place an arm around her waist and say in a hyped voice “Let’s go find puppy Kirsch and the rest of the ginger group and do that thing you wanted to do, Hollis.”

Laura laughs are the highlight of your days. And if you’re the cause of those laughs, you can be seen smiling non-stop for weeks.

Maybe that’s because you’re completely in love with her. She’s still laughing as you two are walking towards Danny and Kirsch. You grin again. This time, at yourself, because yes, you’re in love with her and you’re at peace because you’ve admitted it.

Agent Orange wraps her arms around Kirsch’s neck and gives him a deep kiss and Laura hollers her approval at them. You see Kirsch smiling into the smile and you know how happy he feels. And you’re happy that your best friend is happy because if anyone deserved happiness it was Kirsch.

You were glad Xena and her puppy got their shit together.

LaF and Perry were taking selfies with Perry’s parents.

And you had your arm around Laura Hollis.

Suddenly the cupcake says “Hey Carm, I need to tell you something-”

Kirsch bellows out a scream, clearly meant for the neighboring cities to wonder what’s happening.

Danny laughs, and grabs both yours and Laura’s hands you all run together after Kirsch to your old lunch table.

That was the plan. One last lunch together after college.

There was so much laughing. So much eating. So much fun.

You never imagined this for yourself.

Then again, you never imagined falling in love with Laura Hollis after she fell on you in a Silas Bus.

The after-Graduation party was the wildest Zeta bash you had ever been to. Drunk boys and girls everywhere were frantically screaming and singing over the music.

You down a glass of beer before automatically looking for Laura.

“Hey CUPCAKE” you scream out into the open. Yeah, you’re a little drunk. Then you see her.

She’s laughing, sharing a drink with _another girl._ You have never sobered up so quickly. The girl ran her hand down Laura’s arm as she laughed.

Your heart stopped. The blood in your veins ran cold for a second. The sounds around you just reduced to low murmurs.

Laura was flirting with another girl. Not you. You had forgotten that Laura wasn’t actually yours. You were just in love with her. That doesn’t necessarily mean she gives a single flying, soaring fuck about you.

You spot Elsie near Laura, at the bar. You strut right up to the blonde in the corset and spin her around.

“ _Oh. Hey Carmi-_ ” You shut her up by kissing her. She responds ferociously as soon as your mouth is on hers.

You pin her at the bar and let your mouth assault her until the bartender tells you both to find a room and scram.

You do. But not before looking to see where Laura was.

You couldn’t find her.

You don’t care.

One-night-stands were so much more convenient. So was Math.

**_5/25/2019_ **

You’re really busy in your new apartment, you tell Kirsch and LaF and Perry. You haven’t spoken to Laura in 5 days.

_But she hasn’t called either._

_She hasn’t texted._

_She hasn’t even bothered._

_Were you two even friends?_

The thought of not even being friends with Laura Hollis makes your heart hurt and your head spin.

You try to prove Bayes’ theorem again.

You can’t get past the Probability notation.

Sobs have wracked your body for four whole days.

Today was the 5th. It was 9PM. You’re going to get it together. You have a life beyond the silliness of love.

There was a knock on your door that jarred you. Groaning, you go to open the door.

On your doorstep was a sobbing incoherent, drunken mess of Laura Hollis.

Your heart stopped in your throat.

You half carry her in when she speaks “Carm?” _Hic._

You mumble an agreement before she sobs again. “C-C-C...Carm”

You lead her to your bed, making a split second decision that you would take the couch. She mumbled more incoherent words as you went to get her a glass of water and some aspirin.

You help her take her shoes off, and her pants and you tuck her in. Just as you’re about to go, she says “Carm?”

You stop, dead in your tracks, swivel around and rush to her side. “Yeah?”

“You know, right? You know? That...”

“What is it, cupcake?”

“That I’m in love with you? That’s why you did it right? That’s why you slept with that pumpkin? Because you didn’t want me?”

_In love? with me? Laura?_

_She’s drunk. It’s just a drunken thing._

Before you could even respond, Laura Hollis was snoring.

The next morning came with a few surprises. The smell of toast and Orange Juice woke you up. You saw Laura Hollis in your kitchen buttering her toast and humming to herself in one of your T-Shirts and your sweatpants.

She turned around to see you standing there, watching her. She smiled at you tightly.

_Oh no._

“Hey, Carm” she softly spoke, her voice still a little hoarse. She took a bite of the toast and looked out the window.

_She belongs in this place, with me, especially if she wears more of my clothes._

“Hey, cupcake.” You move to heat some water to make the both of you some tea.

There’s silence for several seconds and the tension could be cut and diced, that’s how tangible it was.

The sound of the plate hitting the counter jarred you for a second. Laura took a deep breath. And then another. And then several more.

“Carm, I meant it. Everything.”

You nearly drop the mug you’re holding.

Your heart stops again. In your chest. You turn back to face Laura Hollis.

There are no possible combinations of you saying anything that would fit this kind of conversation.

So you place the mug on the counter and walk towards Laura.

You cup her face with one hand, and stare into her liquid mocha eyes. They’re searching for something. Your thumb on your other hand runs over a wrinkle and then you press your lips to hers softly.

And if you thought you were melting before when you hugged her, it is _nothing compared to this._

_There was nothing on this planet that compared to kissing Laura Hollis._

You felt like your brain was melting into the rest of your body and the kiss itself wasn’t perfect. It was rough and messy and Laura was crying (from relief you hoped) so she tasted like tears and peaches and you _loved this girl so much._

You pull back and your eyes fluttered open only to realize hers did at the same time.

“Me too” you whisper softly.

“I love you too, cupcake.” Laura lets out a squeal and a laugh and hugs and it nearly sends you flying into the coffee pot.

But it’s okay.

Everything is okay.

Before you didn’t have anything except Math and One Night Stands. It was the norm.

But now you love Laura Hollis. And Laura Hollis loves you right back. And you still have math. You still have Philosophy. You still have Kirsch, Danny, LaF and Perry. And you have Laura. She is your permanent break from the norm.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi.  
> I'm new here, but I'm pretty queer (pan/gay/im not really sure yet) and the Hollstein break had me wanting to write a fic. So I did!  
> Okie.  
> Bye.


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